BITE ME! KROQ Weenie Roast Live

KROQ 2005 WEENIE ROAST

I hear staying in is the new going out, so what better way to test that than by watching this year’s KROQ Weenie Roast via the wonders of the web. Admittedly it was not my first choice, but since the eBay profiteers snapped up the tix what’s a guy to do?

The day before the show there was a competition to win tickets by taking 15 items that had some sort/or no sort of connection with the names of the bands. For instance, a chemical element table (My Chemical Romance), a photo of a grave of a person who passed away in the 60's (Dead 60's) etc. Now I live pretty large and roll fairly deep but when it came to The Transplants they wanted me to bring someone with fake boobs. It was then that I realized that I was scuppered for as far as I know all my friends’ boobs are real.

So, just what do you need for 12 hours of live webcast? Broadband is an absolute must and sound is clearly important - wearing headphones for that long is gonna kill, so I bought some speakers called Creatures that look like Darth Vader’s helmet and kick serious ass. Enough yak, Let there be rock! (Sponsored by Xbox).

First up, a presenter called John introduces Open Air Stereo, who won an auction to put this gig on their resume and make a rotten job of trying to sound like a songless Incubus. Dull, but the comedy of the singer trying to tackle Zeps "Immigrant Song" almost made me piss my pants. The Dead 60's have nothing to follow - hailing from Liverpool and sound like The Specials but they aren't. At one point someone in the crowd puts up a parasol and covers the cameras view of the stage...oops! An extended "Riot on the radio" is the best thing yet. That is until The Bravery - the relentlessly touring east coast quaff machine who would likely play your grannies birthday party if you ask them. Singer Sam Endicott hams it up like Morrissey on PCP as the band does punked up Duran Duran around him. Their recent single "An Honest Mistake" helps Joy Division’s back catalogue and the Robert Smith warble of "Fearless" ends another solid Bravery set and I get excited about seeing Interpol later.

The next band wears even more black, and after doing this for a decade surely The Alkaline Trio's time has at last come. Their new album Crimson sounds like it’s gonna be great and the band are squeaky tight today. Everyone’s fave shampoo salesmen follow, which is as close to a punk supergroup as that genre will allow. The Transplants take the side stage to the next level – gangsta style as every other word begins with f and rhymes with duck. "Tall Cans" makes everyone jump and new song "Apocalypse Now" has Tim and Rob trading verses in time honored style. Of course, whether he likes it or not, Travis is the true star. Not since Dave Grohl has a tub thumper had so much celebrity on stage. I visualize a drum circle of Dave, Travis, and Tommy Lee backstage, ha ha. Another newbie "Gangsters and Thugs" sounds a bit obvious, but doing The Clash's "White Riot" totally worked.

MXPX open up the main stage to a vastly empty arena and a pit of 3 people because in real time The Mars Volta are on the other stage still. They jump around a lot as they plough through their Warped Tour punk, and I wonder where I can grab a shirt like the singers. I run out to buy some jerky, “Man is it hot out. Jeez, people must be literally frying in Irvine right now.”

I get back in time to see my faves Hot Hot Heat take the stage. A while ago they played just before headliners Duran Duran at one of these shows, so is their early slot an indication of their popularity now or have their peers just gotten bigger? Initially things seem a bit flat, but "Island of the Honest Man" kicks up some dust and "Get in, Get out" still sounds poptastic. Their set concentrates on the new record Elevator, and the new stuff fits nicely with the old. When they play "Bandages" it’s probably the first song everyone in the place knows, and makes me wish for the first that I was there.

Jimmy Kimmel takes over the webcast and as My Chemical Romance begins, my feed starts to stutter and I imagine half of LA logging on simultaneously. Opening with "I'm Not Okay" was a brave or dumb move depending on if you think they should make the crowd wait for it or not. I love MCR but I have to say I’m not hot for the bulletproof vest look they’ve taken to lately, but I do like the way vocalist Gerard Way is turning into a mini Danzig, as he constantly berates the crowd to wake up and scream. The track "Ghost of You" perfectly shows why this band stands out from the hundreds of others. It’s played so well here, and has Gerard roaring. He struggles a bit on the wordy "You know what they do to guys like us in prison," mainly because you can't hear the backing vocals. I giggle as he shouts at people backstage as they "smoke cigarettes and talk about fucking Star Wars" before they slay with " Helena". Now I really wish I was there. This band is gonna be enormo.

More restrained but no less powerful are Jimmy Eat World who do the right thing and open with one of two songs from Bleed American before digging into the latest album. So, from Futures we get the massive riff of "Nothing Wrong" and the stop start hook of "Work" before burning through the old hits "The Middle" and "Get it Faster" with some shredding geetar work. Ending their great set with the brilliant "Pain" and "The Sweetness" they rekindled my lost love for them and will make my iTunes most played list again. (God, I'm fickle).

It’s crazy how everyone seems to love Interpol now. I’m glad, as I've always had a soft spot for their moody atmospherics, and being a whore for The Doors I find singer Paul Bank's warm baritone a voice to die for. Today’s set was perfectly paced. "Last Exit," "Slow Hands," and The Smiths jangle of "Say Hello to the Angels" all sound huge. Better still, they seem to be enjoying themselves up there. I’m not sure where the mikes are placed for the webcast, but during the second half of Interpol I got to hear the next band’s drumkit being thoroughly tested! Not to worry, I'm just happy Interpol is going down so well. Their drummer nips off stage for a sec (presumably to tell the Queens roadie to shut the fuck up) and then returns to work. The guy every guy in eyeliner wants to be though is Carlos—uber bassist by day and DJ by night—he just oozes cool. Little axe slinger Daniel doesn’t get a lot of camera time, so I have to imagine him throwing himself around the stage. Tell me if he wasn’t though. The song about a model’s suicide "Obstacle 1" segues comfortably into a broken up "PDA." The singer and drummer both have cigs ready as they leave the stage to a great cheer.

The churning "Feel Good Hit of the Summer" starts the Queens Of The Stone Age contribution to the day before slamming into last year’s real feel good hit "No One Knows" - complete with extra jamming. Special mention here has to go to the sterling drum work of Joey Castillo, who looks possessed. Nowadays the Queens’ ranks have been swelled by a black haired goth diva, who adds a spooky layer of keyboards and voice here and there. And hey, what’s wrong with a bit of eye candy too? I had forgotten how good Rated R was until they played "The Art of Keeping a Secret," so shame on me for that. It must’ve been quite a task to trim their set to just the allotted 45 minutes, but they did a great job. "Monsters in the Parasol" has Josh shimmying and squirming across the stage. It's plain no messing rock with a side of cowbell for "Little Sister" before the melodic "Long Slow Goodbye" and a pounding "Go With the Flow". I don’t think I’ve ever heard them this ball busting and by the time they finish "Song for the Dead" my room is still shaking.

The stage spins and can The Killers possibly top that? Short answer… I have no idea as my wireless went screwy just after they played "Somebody Told Me," which was their first song. Crap! I see the word buffering a lot until service is resumed, and when it does Brandon looks like a scary robot in a ton of eyeliner for "Andy You're a Star". The cameraman/woman seems to have a thing for The Killers drummer as he gets most airtime. He's good and all, but aren’t there four Killers? They still insist on playing "Indie Rock ‘n’ Roll" and I still insist it’s a horrid song. I do like these guys though. They do their cabaret rock well. I just don’t think they have the good songs they think they have. Not yet anyway. However, "Mr. Brightside" is a belter for sure, and the closing "All These Things That I Have Done" is the reason they can get a whole arena clapping.

For the second time this week I find myself watching Audioslave on a video screen. The first being at the too far away to see shit Hollywood Blvd gig. Funny thing is that the majority of people at the show will be watching the screens too. It’s just that I’m more comfortable lying on the sofa. It sounds like Chris Cornell's voice is stronger tonight and positively raw on "Set it Off". Like a good wine "Like a Stone" is improving with age, and even through my speakers I hear the roar from the crowd as they launch into Soundgarden's "Spoon Man". It's good to hear them embrace their history at last and people clearly get off on it, so fuck yeah. Chris is playful as he teases with "War Pigs" before a Rage jam into "Sleep Now in the Fire," and I can only imagine the ferocity of the pit right now. The next song sees Chris singing alone with his acoustic to "Black Hole Sun," and I don’t think it ever sounded more pure. Very nice. I love Tom Morello's guitar. Each solo sounds like a character in a great film - always distinctive and unique, especially on "Killing in the Name of," which kids are gonna scream towards authority for evermore.

Man what a great bill. Its been a great show. After hearing some of the best alternative rock songs ever in recent times we now get the Foo Fuckin’ Fighters. Awesome! Dude, they look pumped up! Yet another band with another reason to be running to Amoeba soon. I don’t know why but for new song "No Way Back" the picture is replaced by some artwork. I’m guessing it’s a legal thing because the band is back on for "Times Like These". The new song by the way...ROCKS! As does new single "The Best". Not to kiss ass at all, but I love Dave Grohl. It took a lot of balls for him to form a band after being in arguably the most incendiary group ever. He always gives it his all and encourages the audience to do the same. Even when he goes for a wander through the crowd on a seriously stretched "Stacked Actors" it doesn’t come across as self indulgent, it’s just really cool. The feed goes weird again and "Monkey Wrench" is replaced by THE cheesiest graphics. Wassup wiv dat? When it returns I see that Taylor’s beard makes it look like Dave cloned himself to play drums as well (I've been looking at this screen for too long). The band almost explode on "All My Life," and Dave spitting "I'm done done, onto the next one", and so too are we.

Did someone say midgets? Motley Crüe's stage show looks awesome. It’s all strobes ‘n’ flame (so that's what 20 grand of pyro looks like). Sadly they sound fucking awful. Whoever told Vince Neil he could sing must've been joking. I’m sorry, but legendary or not, he sounds like bad karaoke. I’m sure he would be the first to admit surprise at being here today, and from the off its pretty clear there are plenty of backing tracks to erm...enhance the performance. Still, you can't deny the hits, and pretty much all they play tonight is a hit. Mick Mars looks a lot better than someone who was dug up a few months ago really should and Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx still look like a Hot Topic fantasy. Choppers are ridden onstage with a trio of scantily clads for "Girls, Girls, Girls". Then I hear Vince miss every single note on "Kickstart My Heart," and with a final burst of flame the show is over.

The webcast though goes straight to Bloc Party, which was filmed earlier in the day, and after all that bluster I almost can't be bothered to watch but Mars Volta are on after so I do. Like the Crüe, Bloc Party have a song about sex too, it’s called "Banquet" and sounds a lot like The Cure. I couldn’t tell you what the Mars Volta played and frankly when something feels this good it doesn’t matter. I can tell you though that it was one song and contained at least two saxophone solos. If you've ever seen footage of Santana at Woodstock then that's kinda what you get here – kinda, if Robert Plant sang with them that day. In other words, it is your average intricately woven tapestry of rhythms and melody expertly ejaculated out into a crowd who either love it or who are bored by it. Oh and Cedric wiggling his skinny ass. -Glen