Bite Me! CD Reviews G - R

Lisa Germano - Lullaby for Liquid Pig (Ineffable Records)

There are slow love ballads.  There are slow, sad songs, and Lisa Germano takes slow music to a whole new level.  Halfway through the second song you will find yourself drifting into a peaceful slumber.  This would be fine if you were listening to Lullaby for Liquid Pig at home. But if you were, say, a music reviewer who listens to the music in her car, this could be very dangerous.  Looking at the back of the CD, it may be a surprise that each song hovers around the three-minute mark.  However, each of those three minutes will be the longest of your life.  It may be just me, but I believe music should inspire creativity.  It should get your blood flowing and your feet moving.  Liquid Pig does none of that.  It has already caused me to mention myself twice in this review. Let’s talk a little more about me.  When I was about 14, some friends of mine wanted to start a band. Their influences at the time were Metallica, Faith No More, and Nirvana. They swore they were going to rock. They even had a name: Sexual Chocolate. They were going to start the Highland Park music revolution. They had two problems though. One, they sucked.  Two, they had one guy who wanted to play nothing but dark, slow music.  I believe they solved problem two by kicking that guy out of the band. On "Paper Doll," Germano sings "Put me out of this misery."  I say, save yourself the misery and the money and avoid this album at all costs.  -R-Lo

H20 – All We Want EP (MCA) 3/4

On their latest offering it appears that H20 have stripped away past aggressions in favor of a more accessible sound.  The songs that make up All We Want glow with a pop sheen and are more viable than past offerings.  The title track is a catchy little ditty that confirms the East Coast punkers’ new identity.  The good news is: it’s not all sappy.  “Role Model” and “Memory Lane”, which were recorded live at CBGB’s, kick some serious booty.  Ass-kickers aside, it’s still obvious that H20’s trademark hardcore edge is severely absent on All We Want.  Quite sad.  Blame it on the major label backing.   -NIN

The Hope Conspiracy – Endnote (Equal Vision Records)

The Boston-based hardcore punk outfit adds some dimension to their abrasive sound on this gritty sophomore effort.  Endnote plays out like a sonic demolition derby as The Hope Conspiracy’s unbridled aggression unfolds into a flurry of neck breaking beats, furious riffs, and screaming vocals.  This slightly neurotic offering showcases a whole new level of explosive power, as the listener is propelled though twelve intense tracks in just about 30 minutes.  Soft and slow are obviously not a part of The Hope Conspiracy’s vocabulary.  Endnote is jam packed with weighty riff drenched songs that hit like a rush of blood to the head.  -NIN

Insense (This Dark Reign/Devil Doll)

High intensity speed metal from the ghettos of Slo, Norway is what you’ll find on this self-titled effort.  Insense is a brand new band built out of the ashes of front man Tommy Hjelm’s full time project The Syndicate.  This self-titled debut is nothing short of a full-blown assault of disorganized metal chaos.  Insense does not believe in playback, digitally reproduced sounds or those annoying electric drums used all too commonly by most speed metal bands.  Instead, they are real humans making real music for those of us that appreciate the effort. Good new stuff.  -Colin Bowel

In Strict Confidence – Mistrust the Angels (Metropolis)

Sure, it’s industrial, but this is the truly pretentious stuff.  Not fun, too serious, doesn’t have a handle on the fact that, as music, it shouldn’t be completely punishing the listener for making the mistake of picking up their CD.  Shit, In Strict Confidence don’t call what they do “music”, they call it “Audio sculpture”.  Hey, if you’re one of those guys who thinks Die Warzau was too mainstream, then this is for you.  I can even tell what songs are what because their track listing starts at 00, but my CD player doesn’t recognize that.  I’d like to recommend songs 3 & 4, but dunno if those are correct numbers.  Fuck it.  -J

Jackpot – Shiny Things (Surfdog) ½

Funny thing, Jackpot sounds like it wants to be the band Cake.  It’s funny, because I determined this before I found out that the lead singer/guitarist used to actually be in Cake.  Shiny Things is an attempt, but the lyrics are nowhere near smart enough to emulate said band.  In fact, they’re pretty dumbed down – whether on purpose or not, I have no idea.  The only chance Jackpot has of mainstream airplay is “Hide in the Frequency” and that’s a stretch.  Don’t think that’s what they’re after, but what they achieve is a highly missable, unendearing CD.  -J

The Jim Yoshi Pile-up - Homemade Drugs (Absolutely Kosher Records) 1/2

Homemade Drugs, The Jim Yoshi Pile-Up’s second Absolutely Kosher Records full-length disc is a gloomy, yet melodic, intelligent affair.  Oakland’s JYPU has no one named Jim Yoshi in the band, but he does sign the record company checks or makes the invoices at this level.  Beautifully sad piano drifts across “Middle Harbor Road”.  Lead singer Paul Gonzenbach’s vocals are heartache personified as he sings, “This might be the best that we ever do” in a tone that is reaching the breaking point.  It doesn’t take long to determine that the Pile-Up has been influenced by Bay Area cult heroes, American Music Club.  It must be something in the air up there.  They could have called this album ‘Cloudy San Francisco Monday’ because that is what it feels like.  “Reckless Driving” is so downbeat that it conjures the image of seniors recklessly driving a walker in a nursing home rather than the reckless driving envisioned by say a Limp Bizkit song.  Gonzenbach’s pained singing occasionally reminds one of Ben Folds on their breakthrough hit “Brick”.  Sometimes sadness does pay-off, but only time will tell if the same fortune out of heartbreak comes the way of the Jim Yoshi Pile-Up.  -Brendan McMahon

Jurassic 5 – Power In Numbers (Interscope)

Jurassic 5—comprised of two old-school inspired DJ’s and four talented emcees—are a hard working bunch.  The group’s latest offering, Power In Numbers, reflects each member’s dedication to their craft.  Power In Numbers has a more refined sound than Quality Control.  The songs themselves emit a relaxed steady vibe in which DJ Nu-Mark & Cut Chemist off set free flowin’ rhymes with split-second samples and well-placed beats.  The dynamic duo’s unique turntable skills are especially evident in “Acetate Prophets”.  Nelly Furtado makes an appearance on “Thin Line,” while Percee P (Big Daddy Kane) lends his talents to “A Day At The Races”.  “Hey” bounces around a soulful melody and soft organ embellishments.  “What’s Golden” and “I am Somebody” are great party tunes that deserve to be shared with the entire neighborhood.  All in all, Power In Numbers is a commendable offering that displays a focus and intensity reminiscent of old-skool hip-hop.  -NIN   

Kittie – Safe (Artemis Records) 1/2

As soon as I recover from one Kittie album a new one appears.  This semi-live EP kicks off with the KMFDM remix of “Safe”.  With its darkwave meets hash-industrial assault, Kittie in this context is actually quite tolerable.  The ethereal radio edit mix of this track isn't half bad either.  But the joy doesn’t last long.  The remainder of the disc is comprised of live offerings, which were recorded at the House of Blues in Anaheim, CA.  It is at this point that Kittie’s demonic screams, pulverizing riffs, and bludgeoning beats emerge to inflict pain upon all within a ten-mile radius.  The quality of the live mix is poor, but the sting is still deadly.  If you’re a diehard Kittie fan you’ll probably enjoy the bonus footage of “Wolves,” Mouthful of Poison,” and “Charlotte”, which was filmed during the band’s performance at the Whiskey A Go Go.  If you’re not than you have no need to waste your time on this disc.  -NIN

The Ladderback - Trigger Themes (Bifocal Media)

Raleigh, North Carolina’s The Ladderback is a dreamy guitar power trio that sounds nothing like a power trio but more like the inside of a confused teenager’s brain.  Primus, Johnny Rotten, Archer’s of Loaf, and Sunny Day Real Estate are all mixed in to the abrasion that is Trigger Themes.  Only these guys aren’t having nearly as much fun.  Masterfully played hardcore with stop on a dime time changes, The Ladderback rip and snarl through ten songs while making reference along the way to thieves, strangers, songs of death, amputation, spilled hot blood, mutilation, disease, poison veins, broken bones and to cap it off, rapists.  These guys are definitely not having as much fun.  -Brendan McMahon

Layo & Bushwacka – Night Works (XL Recordings)

On Night Works the champions of electro-house deliver a righteous dose of club-crawling rave-slamming fun.  This streamlined mix makes its grand entrance with the sweeping sounds of “Vinyl” before moving on to the fresh and funky flavorings of “Ladies and Gentlemen” and the sleepy jazz embellishments of “Blind Tiger”.  A collage of breakbeats greets you with open arms in the club renowned “Love Story” and the thrill-seeking “Let the Good Times Roll”.  Lots of cool little touches are embedded deep within this deceptively smooth collection.  The album’s character is derived from the duo’s juxtaposition of acid house, funk, jazz, techno, electro, old-school breakbeats, and live instrumentation.  The fusion of delta blues and classical accents adds a relaxed edge and sophisticated feel to the overall ambience.  Layo & Bushwacka have definitely outdone themselves.  Night Works will keep you grooving into the wee hours of the morning.  -NIN

Lifehouse – Stanley Climbfall (Dreamworks)

For some reason, I despise Creed, but actually enjoy Lifehouse.  I gotta figure it’s because there are shades of Stone Temple Pilots in their songs…but really haven’t been able to figure it out.  Go figure.  On Stanley Climbfall (yeah, stupid name, what of it?) the boys do not pull a sophomore slump – it’s a winner.  If you enjoyed their debut CD, Stanley Climbfall delivers more of the same formula – instantly accessible music, heartfelt lyrics, and irresistible sing-along chorus’.  -J

Loudermilk – The Red Record (Dreamworks) ¾

Reminiscent of Motley Crue, but with less pandering to the masses, Loudermilk seems to be pleasing themselves on The Red Record.  Unapologetically, these guys cite mainly 80’s rock bands as their inspiration and it shows.  But, there is something more here, as evidenced in lead-off track “estrogen oxygen aches in the teeth again”.  Loudermilk is definitely on their own musical path.  -J

Zodiac Mindwarp And The Love Reaction - I Am Rock (Cosmosodomistic Records) 1/2

Last year for my birthday, esteemed co-editor Nikki Neil gave me Zodiac Mindwarp's deliciously trashy autobiography ‘Fucked By Rock’.  This literary piece of deviance was a tribute to all things about porn, rock, and being a scuzzy world-travelling rock band in the ‘80s.  Nearly 15 years later, Zodiac returns with another piece of gutter-rock that doesn't break new boundaries, but does remain consistent in its ability to stay in the gutter.  In "20,000 Women," Mr. Mindwarp reels off every family member he'd be sleeping with and in "Fucked By Rock" he reels off every place said sleeping should commence.  For accent, all these phrases are highlighted in ALL CAPS in the lyric sheet.  Take that, Mr. Andrew W.K. pansy boy.  Zodiac is dirty, filthy, disgusting and repugnant.  God bless him. - Repojay

Roger Miret and The Disasters (Epitaph)

Having served time as the lead singer of Agnostic Front, Roger Miret laid forth a foundation for hardcore.  The veteran rocker’s latest offering proves that he’s still a vital part of the punk underground.  Inspired by the British Oi! scene Roger Miret and The Disasters is stocked with fourteen fully charged fist-pumping anthems that rarely break the two-minute barrier and are intertwined with commanding guitars and tuneless hooks.  It’s a classic NYC street punk record through and through.  –NIN

The Mission UK – Aura (Metropolis) 3/4

Am I the only one disappointed in this release?  When did The Mission UK get so fucking cheesy?  Aura is the aural equivalent of hair metal to Goth.  The album doesn’t completely suck, but it’s overly commercial and incredibly comical.  Making it to the end was downright impossible.  Note to self: When a bio mentions The Cult, Aerosmith, Sisters of Mercy, and The Wallflowers as a reference it is not a good thing.  -NIN

MoistBoyz – III (Ipecac recordings  / Chocodog Records) 3/4

Well I do believe the brothers from “Deliverance” formed a band and called it Moist Boyz.  It’s hard to take MoistBoyz seriously, especially when they spew out moronic lyrics like, “Mama thinks you got it made. You’re livin’ in the upstairs. Time to wash your underwear.”  Come on.  Everyone knows that no self-respecting rocker wears underwear.  On III the hillbilly mullet touting rockers delivery blatantly offensive songs that are backed by a big cock attitude or lack thereof.  Delving further into this comical offering it becomes evident that this Ween offshoot (Mikey Melchiondo is represented here as Dickie Moist) overdosed on massive quantities of Motorhead and the Jerky Boys before penning these quirky tunes.  -NIN

Bif Naked – Purge (Lava/Atlantic)

I have every right to be suspect when an album by a major label artist is not released in the US.  Such is the case with Bif Naked who needs to have her album imported from her home country of Canada to get distributed stateside.  The tattooed, watered-down rocker's second major label disc isn't that horrible, nor is that exciting.  Although she's been around for several years, she's never gotten notice and there's good reason.  Picture this:  imagine Avril Lavigne when she's double the age she's at now.  She still thinks she's a punk, dresses and acts like one, but is really just writing watered-down pop songs with a slight edge.  But, now she's turned 30 and nobody really cares to hear someone at that age pull that kind of act.  Basically, that's what you get with a Bif Naked record. - Repojay

Never Heard Of It – Limited Edition (Unmotivated Records) 3/4

Unsigned bands take note: This Covina based outfit has already sold over 10,000 copies of their latest self-released effort.  Hell, I know some signed bands that can barely move 5,000 units.  Never Heard Of It has the promotional aspect down to a science.  Now if they can only get the rest to fall into place.  This collection of sarcastic punk rockers comes complete with off-key vocals that work well within the context of the material.  There are plenty of head-bopping riffs to be found.  Think Riddlin’ Kids and you’ll get a general idea of where Never Heard Of It are coming from.  A number of enjoyable tracks are scattered about Limited Edition, but the best tune is a hidden little gem titled “Tequila”.  This acoustic ditty is the perfect drunken party anthem and the lyrics get funnier and funnier as the tune goes along.  Overall, these boys could use a little fine tuning, but I’d much rather listen to them than that fake commercial crap that is currently being pawned as punk.  -NIN  

Organic – The Life and Times of Sal Sagev (Microcosm Publishing) 1/4

According to the band’s bio Organic was formed by three friends back when they were in grade school.  Seven years later and the addition of a fourth member the group still sounds like a pre-high school band.  Comprised of sloppy garage punk riffs and grainy vocals, this rudimentary album sounds as if it was recorded on a two-track in the basement of one of the members.  The songs are muddy and muffled and the vocalist sounds like my cat when I pull her tail.  The first eight offerings on The Life and Times of Sal Sagev feature the current incarnation of Organic.  The remaining seventeen tracks were compiled from a collection of everything the band has ever recorded.  Did I make to the end?  Hell no!  -NIN

Pacifier (Arista)

Previously known as Shihad (the band changed their name for obvious reasons), Pacifier is a no frills rock outfit from New Zealand.  The group’s eponymous U.S. debut is actually Pacifier’s fifth release, which explains the musical professionalism exhibited on this disc.  The metallic unit adds just the right amount of melody to make things memorable and enough raw energy to avoid the wussy factor.  Pacifier’s penchant for catchy hooks is displayed in “Walls” and “Coming Down”.  Jon’s urgent vocals embed his message deep in your brain on “Home”.  Equally impressive is the keen desperation of “Run” and the frantic riffs of “Semi-Normal”.   The speedball rhythms of “My Mind’s Sedate” & “Just a Shadow” round out this lively self-titled effort.   -NIN

Paradise Lost – Symbol of Life (Koch)

I think it is safe to say that Paradise Lost have fully shed their doomy death metal robes in favor of a more accessible sound that can be compared to recent Metallica offerings.  The band’s style has evolved with each subsequent release and on their latest, Symbol of Life, they have emerged as a slightly brighter and poppier unit.  No longer shy about experimenting with a variety of styles and techniques Symbol of Life is by far the band’s most commercial record to date.  Old-school fans may not be too happy with Paradise Lost’s new sound but those who are sick of waiting for Metallica’s return will love it.  -NIN

PIG – Genuine American Monster (Metropolis) 1/2

Raymond Watts’ resume is as impressive as the artist himself.  As a veteran member of Psychic TV and founding father of KMFDM, Watts knows a thing or two about constructing quality industrial music.  Pig’s latest, Genuine American Monster, is a culmination of life experiences and worldly influences.  This brutally futuristic rock opus pairs classic industrial grit and angst with intriguing samples and slippery beats.  Watts’ menacing voice adds an element of evil to the overall ambience especially on “Fate Worse than Death”.  The piano instrumental “Black Brothel” delivers a bittersweet melody under a wall of cascading electronics. “F.O.M” is reflective of the artist’s work with KMFDM.  The strange psychedelic musings of “Inside” flash back to the days of Psychic TV.  If blazing dance floor beats are in need, “Prayer, Praise, & Profit” and “Riot, Religion, and Righteousness” dish them up in massive doses.  Brazilian rhythms and flamenco style riffs on “Salambo” add cultural pizzazz to this righteous offering.  To be honest, it’s impossible to sum up this disc in one sentence.  Genuine American Monster is an in your face album that reflects the genius of Raymond Watts.  -NIN   

Pigface – Easy Listening (Undergroundinc.com)

The illustrious Martin Atkins and his free-for-all group, Pigface, are back with another grandiose record.  Don’t let the title fool you.  Pigface didn’t go soft.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Easy Listening is harder, edgier, and a hell of a lot more confrontational than any of its predecessors.  This seriously wicked effort derives its devilish appeal from an impressive cast of renowned musicians.  These diverse yet like-minded individuals have combined their creative talents and signature charm to produce one of the top Pigface albums of all time.  It’s a non-stop joy ride from beginning to end that kicks off with the pulsating techno beats of “Business”.  Equally earth shattering is the full-on angst of “Bitch,” the NIN flavored “Blow You Away” (G.T.F.A.F.M.), the blistering distorted beats of “King of Negativity,” and the sweetly spellbinding “Miss Sway Action”.  This viscerally aggressive recording ends with “The Horse You Rode in on”.  Featuring a continuous rant of “Fuck (this)” and “Fuck (that)…” this song is destined to become a Pigface classic. With mayhem and revolt emanating from its core, Easy Listening has got to be the most amazing Pigface record to date.  -NIN

Plain White T'S – Stop (Fearless Records) 1/2

So, boys, what do you want to be?  Blink-182?  Jimmy Eat World?  Dashboard Confessional?  Listen, when you make up your mind on what derivative emo-punk path you want to go on, call me and then I'll completely ignore you.  -Repojay

The Postman Syndrome – Terraforming (Now or Never Records)

The Postman Syndrome’s thrash-rock debut CD Terraforming contains one of the funniest song titles I’ve ever heard, which is the lead track, “Amputee’s Make Bad Swimmers”.  Granted it is insensitive, but The Postman Syndrome never claims to be sensitive anywhere on this album.  I listened to most of this disc because I had to.  Believe me most people will turn this off before you can finish the sentence “What the FU%^&*K is this SH%^&T?”  The Postman Syndrome’s rhythmic songs are built from the floor tom up.  They are basically dredgy, sludge filled songs with searing guitars, the occasional killer riff, and out of left field melodic, sweet vocals.  That said, 99 percent of this is barking, mad insanity.  This album is not to be played during finals week, as you will never be able to study.  -Brendan McMahon 

Project Pitchfork – Inferno (Metropolis) 1/2

Adapting the metronome-autonomy of Skinny Puppy or Kraftwerk combined with the lush dreamscapes of Type O Negative, Project Pitchfork delivers German industrial for the new Millennium.  If songs “The Deepest Place”, “Awakening”, and “Souls in Ice” aren’t playing on your local darkwave dance floor yet, request them and see people really enjoy it.  With hypnotizing beats, the only drawback to Inferno is that it is hard to listen to all at once – the repetitiveness of the beats over time is headache inducing.  On a song-by-song basis, this is good – thumbs up, albeit unenthusiastically.  –J

Prong – 100% Live (Loco Motive)

After a five-year absence NY’s thrashing hardcore machine is back with a new line-up (bassist Brian Perry, guitarist Monte Pittman, and drummer Dan Laudo) and first ever live offering – 100% Live, which is 100% all that.  With Tommy Victor at the helm this incredibly tight unit wickedly hurls through fourteen tightly wound hook-heavy capsules that bristle with all the energy and excitement of their live show.  The album features fresh renditions from the Prong’s catalog, beginning with Beg to Differ all the way through to Rude Awakening.  The arrangements are crucially tight and the overall flow is smooth, especially the transitions between songs.  Not to be overlooked is “Initiation,” a new tune that proves Prong is still a vital part of the underground.  This abrasive, uncompromising assault appropriately begins with the crunch heavy riffs of “Rude Awakening” and ends like a live set should end - - with a blistering delivery (in this case  “Unconditional”) that leaves you wanting more.   -NIN

Pseudopod (Interscope Records)

Jazzy-pop-jam band Pseudopod’s self-titled major label debut will meet fan expectations. Delivering major label jazzy, extended pop with a clear nod to the jam-band Jesus, Dave Matthews but no genuflection to the jam-band God, Jerry Garcia.  Hunkered down in Memphis’ Ardent studio with hit master Paul Ebersold directing the jams, Pseudopod perfectly plays tightly arranged easy listening pop numbers with floating saxophone lines and pleasant rhythms.  Kevin Carlberg’s voice is the sweet icing on the tasty music.  Not too sugary, but just right.  Not too rocking either.  DMB clearly can rip the roof off a song and although Pseudopod may be able to make the same ballsy statement, there is no evidence of such power on this disc.  The title of the last song on the album, “Lackadaisical Memory” is what I have of the time I spent listening to this record.  The accompanying press release sent with this album admits Pseudopod plays all their gigs barefoot [Oooh.  Gotta go see then now.  BLEAH  -J].  Toad the Wet Sprocket did that and look where it got them [Dropped?  -J].  My suggestion: put your boots back on and kick out the jams.  -Brendan McMahon

Queens of the Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf  (Interscope Records)

Songs to make people deaf.  Songs for people who wish they were deaf.  Songs to console the deaf.  These are some other possible titles that may have worked for this musical compilation.  They decided to go with Songs for the Deaf.  I’m rarely described as speechless.  However, fully aware of the buzz surrounding the uber-cool Queens, I was unsure how to react to this collection of indescribable rock.  Lead Queen, Josh Homme describes it as “Robot Rock” and that may nail it because I don’t know what the hell else to call this…pounding works…groovy fits…devilish feels right…hummable would not be quite on cue and catchy is not the word I’m looking for.  German could do it.  For some reason I want to call this music ‘Truckin’.  “The Sky is Fallen” is melodic, and the single “No One Knows” in a ghostly way is too.  In addition to Homme, the other lead Queen of this Palm Desert, CA outfit is high school cohort Nick Oliveri, who plays bass and sings.  Former Screaming Tree Mark Lanegan leaves great vocals all over the Deaf.  Foo Fighter Dave Grohl rounds out the rock at the kit while numerous other rock celebs donate their sonic boom.  -Brendan McMahon

Marky Ramone and The Speed Kings - Legends Bleed (Thirsty Ear)

Just how bad a loss were the deaths of Joey and Dee Dee Ramone?  One just needs to take a passing listen to the new Marky Ramone record to discover why.  In true Ramones style he breezes thru 20 songs in just over 40 minutes, but even sophmoric rockers like Blink-182 are probably telling this rock geezer to grow up after hearing infantile crap like "Weenie Hair," "Beaver On My Mind," and the ever-succinct "Fuck Shit Up!".  To really hammer home the point that Marky has no talent, he tackles 4 Ramones songs live from Germany at the end and doesn't even begin to come close to doing them justice.  As backing band of the second, punkers Speed Kings don't add anything to the equation except maybe a black mark on their permanent record.  -Repojay