Bite Me! CD Reviews A - F

Academy - Making it Personal (Milktree/Orange Peal records) 1/2

Academy are a young punky emo combo with a whiney sounding singer who, truth be told, really really can’t sing.  The CD sounds rushed and nervous and it is really not that good.  The whole sound is disjointed.  I’m sure there is some potential there but, honestly, why bother?  Academy doesn’t sound overly talented, so maybe they should just pack it in before someone gets hurt.  I could name a thousand young bands that do this better and with more focus than this.  These guys practice at their guitarist’s granny’s house.  I wonder if she is hard of hearing?  -Glen

Acceptance - Black Lines To Battlefields (The Militia Group)

Seattle’s Acceptance delivers tried and true emo-rock on this seven song EP.  The five members of Acceptance—Kaylan Cloyd on guitar, Garrett Lunceford on drums, Christian McAlhaney on guitar, Jason Vena on vocals and Ryan Zwiefelhofer on bass—make more thanks to God in their liner notes than a typical NFL post-game sideline interview.  Unfortunately, God did not bless these worshipers with lots of original ideas.  Fighting the urge to fall asleep during tracks one through three, I fast-forwarded to live tracks six and seven only to find out Acceptance is no more interesting live than on record.  I’m no devil worshipper but perhaps God and Jesus are not the best place to begin looking for rock and roll inspiration.  -Brendan McMahon

The A.K.A’s (are everywhere) - White Doves and Smoking Guns (Fueled by Ramen)

This band hails from New York City and they bring with them a retro style garage punk, shouty and noisy sound kinda like The Liars but with a bit less dance ability.  I have to say though, that this album is certainly a grower and it’s a perfect album to blast out loud before a night on the town - providing your town is full of people with spiky hair and tight black Levi’s!  Harping along throughout the disc is a very moogy, monster mash style keyboard that is high up in the mix.  The grooves bring to mind the Lords Of The New Church, but updated for the NEW New Wave crowd.  The tracks on White Doves and Smoking Guns offer a general vibe and give a more than passing resemblance to the awesome International Noise Conspiracy, but sadly without that band’s diversity.  I reckon you’ll either love or loathe the singer Mike Ski’s (formerly of hardcore band Brothers Keeper) style in that he favors a shouty repetitive technique.  The guitars sound appropriately fuzzy and dirty, especially on “Spectacle City”.  The song “Generation Vexed” is particularly catchy and I love the hook of “Whatcha gonna do when it ain’t cool to be a loser now”.  The lyrics are all snarly, like you’d hear in the underground type stuff, and on “Gotta Get Out of Here” there is more “hey baby’s” and “yeah, yeah, yeahs” than you could shake a Faster Pussycat at!  To nick a line from the band this album is all about “tight pants and pin-striped nights”.  And that’s more than cool by me honey.  -Glen 

Baloney Ponyz (Baloney Ponyz Records)

What's in a name, my friends?  Just about everything!  If I showed you this band’s cheesy ass logo and then told you the name of the band was Baloney Ponyz, you'd expect the worst and I surely did.  Instead, I got rip-solid, straight up, solid bones pop metal that's fun, rocking, and full of enjoyment.  It certainly captures the spirit of 80s metal far better than any of the poseur retro attempts that the press passes off nowadays.  They liven it up with a dash of rap-metal every once in awhile and don't tell me that their power ballad, "On My Way", won't have you begging for more with your lighter straight in the air.  Just change the name fellas, so the world can take you seriously and you can dominate!  -Repojay

Basement Jaxx – Kish Kash (XL/Astralwerks)

Basement Jaxx’s Kish Kash is an album that should be high up on your wish list.  The whimsical duo, Simon Ratcliffe and Felix Buxton, have delivered another radiant disc that dishes out one delightfully extravagant tune after another.  With Kish Kash the focus is more on songwriting than samples; however, the songs still have what it takes to make you shake your moneymaker.  This inventive offering whirls and twirls between elements of R&B, punk, house, Latin, Asian, and Middle-Eastern flavorings.  “Right Here’s The Spot” brings back the funk of old-skool Prince with a little pinch of Kraftwerk added for extra spice.  There are plenty of guest vocals to be found.  Siouxsie-Sioux lights up the title track, “Kish Kash”.  *NSYNC’s JC Chasez takes a stab at clubdum on “Plug It In”.  However, L.A.’s own Lisa Kekaula (BellRays) steals the show as her signature pipes perfectly compliment the Motown inspired “Good Luck”.  Without a doubt, Kish Kash thrills from start to finish.   It’s just hell-a good.  –NIN

Best Of Seven (Fastlane Records)

Best Of Seven is a name that begs for all sorts of critical drubbings.  For example: if they claim that they are the "best of seven", then isn't it reasonable to say, at best, that only 4 out of 7 songs will be hits?  Furthermore, if they have to get to seven songs, then isn't it doubtful that you'll hear 2 songs in a row that you like?  What then do you make of a band called Best Of Seven who actually make it to 12 songs on the album?  Well, you call them utterly mediocre.  The singer does his best Bon Jovi impersonation while the band belts out well written, but obvious standard crunchy bar rock numbers.  On a sweaty night in your local Midwest bar, you'd be too drunk to notice the misses and they'd have enough hits to keep you satisfied.  On CD?  Well, that's another story. -Repojay

Lewis Black – Rules of Engagement (Comedy Central Records)

Lewis Black is to Comedy Central's The Daily Show what Andy Rooney is to 60 Minutes.  Both are curmudgeons who attempt to put a dose of humor into otherwise humorless slants on life.  Note the word attempt.  Black hits on the show more than Rooney does, but on a full album it doesn't work.  The 4 minute rants Black does on air are usually spot on, and when he hits that rhythm in his stand up, you laugh out loud.  Unfortunately, there's also another 45 minutes of routine around the 3rd or 4th high points of the record, and they aren't usually funny.  Furthermore, the routine is so topical that I imagine it would only have a shelf life of about 6-9 months.  I agree with Mr. Black's politics, so I wish to mildly recommend it in that regard.  But, if you're preparing to laugh just get an old Bill Hicks record to see how he consistently did it better.  -Repojay

Buchanan - All Understood (Ultimatum Music) 1/2

Orange County’s Buchanan, led by Jay Buchanan, does not sound like a sunny Southern California pop band, but more like a back woods of Vermont acoustic steamroller.  Actually, this all-male four-piece outfit reminds the listener of Four Non-Blondes or even early Tracy Chapman.  Buchanan’s gentle voice, guitar, harp, and Xylophone work fronts the fine musicianship of drummer Chris Powell, bassist, Todd Sanders and guitarist Ty Stewart.  Mid-tempo to mellow, the 11 adult-alternative songs on All Understood walk together down a cloudy street in a rainy town on a dreary day.  -Brendan McMahon

ColPorter – Sovereign Mind 1/2

This three-piece outfit, from San Diego, CA., features Sarah Paolini on vocals and bass.  Sarah’s quasi-ethereal voice is a bit thin when paired against the thunder of her 5-string bass and David Paolini's 7-string guitar.  However, they fit nicely within the context of the band’s passionate heavy metal musings.  ColPorter’s sound is a bit dated and a few tunes are similar in nature.  However, there is still a number of metal heads out there that appreciate a good blend of hard rock guitar with fluid goth-like vocals. -NIN

Conquest – No Boundaries (Conquest Metal)

A shivering pulsing guitar metal wail can't mask the fact that these tough guys with long mullets and trench coat mafia gear can't write a song to save their lives.  The only thing I’m thankful for is that the songs are mercifully short.  How long can we take, 2 years after the fact, a song called "No Mercy 9/11" which samples George Bush after the WTC disaster into some moronic "Let's kick ass" lyrics.  Presumably, this band isn't raking in the dough on the touring circuit as they could only afford 9 tracks in the studio.  Fearing that 30 minutes of music wouldn't cut it for a full CD (they're right), they added 3 bonus live tracks.  Adding further insult to injury, they didn't even splurge for the $25 board tape and opted instead for their pal in the back holding up a mic in sub-par bootleg style (hey, you can even hear him talking!).  Moronic metal to the core.  -Repojay

Copeland – Beneath Medicine Tree (Militia Group)

While I admit that Copeland’s music is beautiful in an extreme emo-Radiohead kind of way, this shit is waaaaaay too sappy for my blood.  These guys make Dashboard Confessional look butch!! If you are a teenage female going through your suicidal “nobody understands me” phase that ALL teenage girls go through, this will make you cry.  Copiously.  Lyrics like “There’s an angel on your hospital bed, desperate to hear his name on your breath” make me want to frigging gag.  And that’s not the worst of it – to unveil it would make Satan cry.  Ugh.  I need a shower – or a drink to keep these relentlessly icky madrigals away!!!  -J

The Cunts – La La La (Disturbing Records) ZERO

I’m still trying to figure out if this is a junior high school project.  If so, they flunked poetry and I feel really bad for their teacher.  -J

Dakona - Perfect Change (Maverick Records) 1/2

If Dakona didn’t sound exactly like Better Than Ezra, they’d be totally original.  That said, they borrow delicious power pop hooks from the best of them and deliver 13 earnest from-the-heart rock numbers.  This Vancouver foursome fills the room with wall of sound guitars and passion.  Dakona’s Maverick Records debut, Perfect Change was recorded in Toronto by producers Rob Cavallo and Arnold Lanni of Green Day and Our Lady Peace fame.  Respectively, their top-notch knob turning is widely felt.  Stand out tracks included the opener “Waiting” as well as “Good” and “Soul 4 Sale”.   -Brendan McMahon

The Distillers – Coral Fang (Reprise)

Okay, so Coral Fang is a bit of a sleeper in comparison to ‘Sing Sing Death House’.  Let’s just say that you won’t find anything as raw and edgy as “City of Angeles” here, but there are some noteworthy angst filled moments in the mix.  As expected, the L.A. hardcore outfit has beefed up their sound with big riffs and grungy dynamics.  The blood, sweat, and aggression have been ditched in favor of a more polished and poppy tone.  A majority of the tracks are very mellow dramatic, as they revolve around losing and finding love.  “The Hunger“ is another drama enriched tune that pairs yearning verses with firebomb choruses.  “Hall of Mirrors” suggests that Brody’s split with Tim had some devastating affects.  Thankfully, the group gets adventurous on the second half of the album beginning with the anthemic “Beat Your Heart Out”.  At times, Brody’s husky voice sounds a bit like Courtney Love, especially on “For Tonight You’re Only Here To Know.”  (F.Y.I. I’ll take Brody over Courtney any day.)  The album closes with the attitude laden “Death Sex”.  Unfortunately, this rebellious tune seems a bit out of place on this neatly packaged offering.  All in all, Coral Fang isn’t half bad.  However, The Distillers are at their best when left to their own devices.  -NIN

Electric Frankenstein / El Nada (Finger Records)

This is probably the way more split EPs should be done.  Each band writes 4 songs for the other band and then they record it.  Underground legends Electric Frankenstein show why they do a ton of these records each year.  They're tight, aggressive, and hungry enough to tear up anyone's tunes.  Their road seasoning shows off to produce some amazing punk rock musical storms.  El Nada doesn't get EF's greatest tracks and the Latino OC punk outfit also shows off how obvious years of practice and performing makes you better.  They just aren't up to snuff against EF's four tracks, but they give it a helluva try.  Electric Frankenstein fans will be much pleased by this effort and should search it out quickly.  -Repojay

Eve 6 - It’s All in Your Head (RCA Records) 1/2

Glam Rockers Eve 6 are back with their third full-length RCA album, It’s All in Your Head, filled with the same muscular hooks that made them famous.  Head picks up where their 2000 ‘Horrorscope’ left off.  The rock and roll floodgates burst open with a shower of sonic happiness in the lead off song, “Without You Here,” which contains a repetitive chorus of “without you here, I feel my fear”.  “Think Twice,” the first single, proudly defies, “think twice before you touch my girl”.  “At Least We’re Dreaming” is an arena-ready rock giant of a song.  Then there’s “Still Here Waiting,” which is a two-minute, eighteen-second punk-rock party with a little glam mixed in for good measure.  Pearl Jam would be proud to record this one.  With Tom Lord-Alge (Rolling Stones, Hole, Marilyn Manson), Jim Scott (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters) and newcomer Gregg Wattenberg at the helm Eve 6 are in good hands.  All three members of Eve 6; Max Collins, Jon Siebels and Tony Fagenson are back and ready to rock your pants off.  -Brendan McMahon

Fabulous Disaster – Panty Raid! (Pink and Black Records) 3/4

Fast, furious, and having a good old time, Fabulous Disaster are my second favorite female punk band.  This beats the shit out of the Donnas.  For just clean fury – imagine Joan Jett meets the Descendants or Pennywise during the Full Circle days mixed with the Go-Go’s!  Fabulous Disaster is just that – fabulous.  I like almost all the tracks, but standouts include “My Addiction”, “The Other Day” and “No Stars Tonight”.  –J

Fingertight – In the Name of Progress (Columbia) 

Fingertight is a rather generic sounding band, much like the current rock-rap meets boy band sound.  Think Linkin Park and current Incubus and you have Fingertight.  They mix it up – a hard rocker, then an almost ballad nod out to the ladies.  They are fairly talented musicians and songwriters, and mix into the current landscape so well I am sure they will do OK.  Not my thing, but these guys are super nice and work very hard, so check them out if you’re into it.  -J