Bite Me! CD Reviews S - Z

Schoolyard Heroes - The Funeral Sciences (The Control Group)

Schoolyard Heroes start out their debut with the schizophrenic jerking between 80s New-Wave and early 90s Indie angst (ala Hole).  Eventually, 18-year-old Ryann Donnelly settles into the Courtney wannabe territory.  Except instead of singing about sex, drugs, etc., she sings about any type of B-Movie she can find.  This includes "Dawn Of The Dead", "The Klaw," and even (completely inexplicably) "Michael Dudakoff: American Ninja".  Musically, it becomes a very repetitive rut (save for the 60s girl group melodrama of "Boyfriend") that, given the song titles, is more likely to be booked at a Horror Film convention than at a club near you.  -Repojay

Sex Positions (Deathwish Records) 1/2

As Arnie himself recently said in his best Khali-fornian accent “This group have more bells, whistles, and special effects than my new movie Terminator threeee.”  The Sex Positions’ self-titled release is belting screamo noise laden with blips, feedback, and Windows XP exploding into a million fragments.  Looking to the godfathers of Art rock, Atari Teenage Riot, for recipes where hardcore vocals are shouted at a constant throat ripping level throughout.  Kinda too much at times, but the singer’s voice is the glue that keeps the bands sound together as it threatens to split, while the guitars and distortion and the frenzy of drums pound throughout.  The songs are short and dagger sharp and almost always vicious.  Midway through, the instrumental interlude called, erm… “Interlude” slows things down to a slow crawl.  With its ominous bows and a menacing bassline, it’s creepy and cool and the detuned piano is reminiscent of our beloved Trent.  On “Dead Lay Very Still” the guys awake from their slumbers and crank it up to 15 again. The track “Ruined” is punk as all hell—like Refused punk—and then we are out.  Look mum, I never mentioned fucking once.  -Glen

Skeemin’ NoGoods (Idol Records) 0

How about just the NoGoods?  (Man, these reviews write themselves!)  -Repojay

Soda Club – Anthem Alert (Water Music Dance)

Now here’s a thumping disc to get your groove on to.  The U.S. debut by U.K. sensations, Soda Club, is chock full of pulsating anthems that will set the dancefloor on fire.  These striking young ladies—Gina, Hannah, Charlotte, and Andrea—are the dance music equivalent of Britney Spears (with 10x the talent.)  The songs on Anthem Alert are solo all showcases that add variety and spice to this collection of cheeky pop originals (“Keep Love Together,” “Burning Up,” and “Make My Day”) and kitsch covers (“Take My Breath Away” and “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”).  There’s also a bonus DVD of live show footage and interviews, which is an added bonus for the guys.   -NIN 

T.A.S.C. (Fast X Records)

What happens when you try really hard to sound like Al Jourgensen's Ministry but don't do nearly enough drugs, try too hard for success, and cite Kiss as an influence (thru their cover of "God Of Thunder")?  Why, you get T.A.S.C., a piece of shit from California that probably stands for Tugging Al's Similar Coattails.  The only thing redeeming on this record is Brian Scott's guitar work, which is certainly above average for this sorta thing.  However, he gets dragged down by singer/songwriter Marko Olson's atonal banal musings, which seem to have been made for another record entirely.  -Repojay

Toilet Boys - The Early Years (Masterplan/Ozit Morpheus)

It's funny that I lived in NYC at the time that Toilet Boys came on the scene, and never really gave them that much regard.  A sloppy punk band fronted by a drag queen was interesting, but even at the time seemed so twenty years ago.  Listening to a hodgepodge of early recordings from that time reminds me that every era has their scene and, even if it's derivative, it's still enjoyable.  I hesitate to call Toilet Boys legendary just because they put out an Early Years CD. 10 years is not enough time for that.  But, if I was to skip over the really awful live cuts here, included for historical reasons, I presume, then I'm pleasantly thrown back to an enjoyable time in NYC music history, even if the time itself wasn't historical.  -Repojay

Trailer Park Pam (Interscope)  ¾

With the self-titled Trailer Park Pam CD, I played a little game of “name who the band is imitating with this song!”  It was obvious to me within the first 30 seconds since these guys are all incredibly talented, really derivative, and totally boring:

“Out of the Sun” = Creed

“Buyer Beware” = Alice in Chains/early STP

“Falling Stars” = Barenaked Ladies

“Talk Circus” = Alice in Chains (again)

“Tell Me” = Dave Matthews

“Photo Memories” = Dave Matthews (again)

…and then I got tired of it.  -J

Trevor Dunn’s Trio-Convulsant - Sister Phantom Owl Fish (Ipecac Recordings)

Trevor Dunn apparently felt that the noodling one calls "experimental" in Fantomas and Mr. Bungle wasn't enough.  So he goes off and forms his own group whose name is every bit as pretentious as the music contained inside.  Now, in my book, the only thing worse than a guitar noodler is a bass noodler and that's precisely what this record is.  One hour of no-vocal wonkiness where the meandering has no basis in planning, structure or musicality.  Normally, this type of music is best listened to stoned, but you should be prepared for having some strong shit on hand before pressing play on this excessive exercise in masturbatory excessiveness.  [And I thought it was just me who hated this shit  -J]  –Repojay

Various – A Santa Cause: It’s A Punk Rock Christmas (Immortal) 3/4

I’m not a big fan of Christmas songs, but I’ll admit that this disc will have you rockin’ around the ole Christmas tree long after the Yule log has burned out.  Of course you have the standard fare like “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas,” brought to you by Blink 182, and its counterpart “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” (Matchbook Romance).  But, there are some other good tunes on here, such as “December is for Cynics” (The Matches), “Christmas is for Zombies” (MXPX), and “Ex Miss” (New Found Glory).  The release is filled with new and traditional holiday favorites all brought to you by some very talented punk & emo bands.  Last year’s comp was a success, so let’s keep the good Karma rollin'.  Spread a little Christmas cheer this year and pick a copy or two of A Santa Cause.  A portion of the proceeds goes to benefit the Pediatric AIDS Foundation.  -NIN

Various - Headbanger's Ball - Vol 2 (RoadRunner) 1/4

If you’re a metal head this double disc set is absolutely worth your buck.  There are some nice surprises here, such as new material from Drowning Pool featuring a new singer that would make Dave proud.  Sadly, new Fear Factory sounds like the old, but just not as good.  To be honest, the guitars are not as strong, so I’ll stick with the original.  It’s hard to ignore HIM - a throw back to the hair metal days.  If you miss the aquanet sound this band will make you squeal with delight.  However, if you’re like me you’ll shiver over bad memories of hair flipping.   Disc two is more for the hardcore extreme metal crowd. With 40 tracks in all, there is definitely a little something for every metal head here.  -NIN

Various - Resident Evil: Apocalypse (RoadRunner) 1/2

This pulverizing disc is full of hard hitting guitar riffs and haunting vocals.  The soundtrack features an array of blistering aggressive and emotionally wracking tunes brought to you by the current whose who in the hard rock scene.  The mayhem begins with RoadRunner’s biggest stars Slipknot.  The Used keep the angst going with “Just A Little”.  The Cure makes a surprising appearance with “Us Or Them” and CKY showcase their dark side on “Escape From Hellview“.  -NIN

Various - Take Action Vol. 04 (Sub City) 1/2

Proceeds from the sale of Take Action go to benefit a good cause, which is reason alone to buy this record.  Plus, if you love punk there are 41 more reasons why you should buy this two disc set.  NOFX, Go Betty Go, and The Kicks are just part of that list. These rare and unreleased tracks from punks shinning stars have been complied in support of The National Hopeline Network.  So support a good cause by picking this disc up.  -NIN